10 Best Quotes By Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson Quotes 

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.